The realization that my new baby was going to grow up too quickly was the day that he no longer fit into his newborn diapers.  I burst into tears and sobbed while trying to hold him still while searching for the Size 1 diapers!  ”Oh my word”, I said to myself between tears, “So, this is why people kept saying ‘they grow up soooo fast’ while I was pregnant” (something that I find myself doing to every expectant woman I see now).  

This week, almost four years later, it hit me again whenever I placed the call to enroll my son, Jake, into pre-kindergarten.  When I hung up, I started sobbing…almost uncontrollably!  ”How in the world did the last four years go by so quickly?” I wondered, as I felt a big sense of nostalgia and a small sense of panic.  Am I spending enough quality time with him?  Am I focusing on what is most important to create a life of prosperity, safety, and happiness for him?  Am I teaching him everything he needs to know to be a good student and, most importantly, a good person?

Later that day, I overheard him say to one of his toys “My Mommy is grateful.”  I relaxed and thought “Well…I am off to a good start!”

(picture courtesy of http://freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=989)

One Mom talked about how her daughter called a friend a “dumb ass”; another lamented because her child wouldn’t bow or curtsy during a school play because he didn’t want her to think he was acting silly; another described how her daughter was pretending to be ‘the Mommy’ and slapped her hand on her forehead in exasperation; another spoke about how her daughter pointed to a man wearing an earring and proclaimed loudly “boys aren’t supposed to wear earrings…only girls”; and I shared that, when my friend watched Jake the other day, he said “Have you seen Sandy Harper’s Gratitude Boot Camp on Facebook?”

We all laughed because kids say the darndest things!  We also pointed out all of the wonderful things that we do as Mothers and didn’t allow each other to feel badly about anything our children say or do that might cause us to feel guilt…after all, there is no such thing as a perfect Mother.  

Later, I thought about how our children are such mirrors of us!  I thought about what my child said and realized that I’ve been working too much lately!  So…I am committing right now to spend a minimum of one hour of uninterrupted time with him per work day (even if it is in 5 – 15 minute increments)…no phone and no computer allowed!  We are going to sit down right now and play a board game…as. soon. as. I. finish. posting. on. Facebook, that is!!!

(Image: Francesco Marino / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

There was a time whenever my friends were worried that there was something wrong with him because he did not seem to connect.  He did not say the word “Mommy” until much, much later than his playmates.  In fact, he was the last one in our playgroup to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, and talk although he is one of the eldest of the bunch.

I recently took him for his 3 year old check-up although he is 3.5 now.  I know, I know…I’m always late too (hey…wait a minute, maybe he comes by it justly?  And…before you judge my mothering skills, you must know that there were no major shots or anything involved in this doctor visit).  His Pediatrician was amazed at his level of communication (even though she had been somewhat skeptical that there was anything wrong when I showed up at her office in tears, one year earlier).  “Did you put him in therapy?” she asked.  “No” I replied “About a week after my panicked visit, he started talking up a storm, in complete sentences and full of emotion & empathy, and he has not stopped since!”  She and I hugged!

I looked at her, contemplatively, and said, “You know…there is a life lesson here.  We are sometimes so quick to judge and we, so often, live our lives in a state of comparison.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we simply accepted each other, encouraged each other to reach our potential, and did not judge each other’s process of growth, whether we be children or adults?”  She smiled and said “Why yes, it would”.  After she walked out with her stethoscope in hand, I gave my child an extra hug and gave myself a break for the fact that I was at a place that some may view as “being behind”.  And, as I walked out of the doctor’s office, I thought “Watch out world…I might just run for Mayor!”

*I am adding to this post to clarify a couple of things about my child.  He reached all of his major milestones within the “normal” time frames, it was just always at the very end.  He loves to play with other children and connects with people very well.  Like all 3 year olds, he asks millions of questions each day (his favorite is asking what every single sign says as we drive up and down Interstate 4; which we do a lot, so Mommy is learning the art of extreme patience) and we carry on conversations with each other.  He is smart and sweet with a great sense of humor and some of the same “quirks” that I had as a child.  I really believe that, while you should make sure that your child is developing his/her major milestones according to “the charts”, you also have to be careful about comparing him/her to other children.  And, I believe that you need to accept them for who they are and praise & encourage them to excel without placing judgment upon them.*