I remember the day I screamed down the hall of my high school…  “Doesn’t anyone care any more?”

I was 16 and my Mom had died a few months before.  I was sitting in typing class and it unexpectedly and suddenly hit me how everyone was carrying on with their lives, as if nothing had happened.  I abruptly left the room in the middle of class, so no one would see the tears streaming down my face.  Mrs. Newsome followed and asked where I was going.  And, that’s when I hollered down the hall.

I left the school grounds, without permission, and spent the rest of the day sitting at my Mom’s grave.  That’s when I realized life does go on, even after a tragedy.  It doesn’t matter if it’s the personal tragedy of a young girl or one that affects millions of people.  Before you know it, everyone is laughing, shopping, sleeping, and talking about the latest celebrity gossip, as if nothing ever happened.

My Dad died three years after my Mom.  On Christmas Eve.  Yep… life went on!

It’s been over 30 years since I was that confused girl.  I now know that life needs to go on.  We can’t live in constant grief lest we miss out on the beauty of being alive.  I also know how much it means to me when someone expresses their support at the loss of my parents, even after all these years.

People will cease talking and tweeting about the disaster in Japan long before it’s citizens even start to recover.  The knowledge of that makes me feel a bit like that sad and confused 16 year old again.  So, I’m making a promise to stop and remember those affected, for years to come.

And, today I’m praying for the children who became orphans that day.  I’m praying for them to realize they will laugh, shop, sleep, and talk about trivial things again one day.  I did!

Image: worradmu / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s always hard to end a relationship.  Doing it the night before Valentine’s Day makes it a poignant heartbreak.

I didn’t plan to break up on the Eve of the day we celebrate love.  In fact, I had decided earlier in the day to continue on and see if the relationship could change/grow.

Then, it happened… an instant where it felt like someone poured freezing cold water on my head to wake me up!  And, I had to do what I had to do, regardless of the date on the calendar.

This post is not about him.  I wish him all the best and sincerely pray he finds the love of his life.

This is about me and the fact that I allowed myself to disappear.  Over the course of two months, I had become someone I didn’t even recognize.  In that moment of clarity, I realized I missed… ME!

I was surprised by how I’d let some pretty big parts of me go away.  And, I was unnerved by a new part of me that showed up.  It made me realize the sheer power that the need to love and be loved holds.

On our quest to find “the one,” we must not fall asleep on who we are, what we value, and why we want to be in a relationship.  If you’re acting differently or find yourself hoping things will change, it’s time to stop and examine your who, what, and why. Then, if you discover big things missing from what you want in love, you can pick a day to end things that doesn’t exude couples, candlelight, and Cupid!

(Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

When I told my four year old son it was my birthday, he exclaimed, “Yay!  Do you have cake and presents?”  I groaned to myself.  How could I have forgotten to get a cake for myself so he could help me celebrate?

I explained that he and I were going to celebrate Mommy’s birthday the following day.  The next morning, he ran to my room and told me he had the best dream last night… all about cake!!!

We ran downstairs.  He placed some candles on the small cake I’d purchased the night before.  Then, he looked around and asked “Where are your presents, Mommy?”  “Well,  I don’t have any presents and that’s okay.  We’ve got a yummy birthday cake and candles to enjoy!”

He became overwhelmed with emotion.  He started looking around the house, saying “I have to give you a present, Mommy.  I need to find some flowers to give you.”  The more he searched, the more upset he became.

As my heart was breaking, my eyes fell upon a bouquet of plastic flowers in my office.  “I found some flowers, Jake.  I’m going to lay them right here.” I said, as I took the flowers out of the vase and laid them upon his arts & crafts table.

He sang “Happy Birthday” to me and helped me blow out the candles.  Then, he told me to close my eyes.  When I opened them, he was standing in front of me with those plastic flowers.  With the sweetest smile, he said, “I got you some flowers, Mommy!”  I could not hold back my tears any longer as I thanked him profusely for the gift.

“Why are you crying, Mom?”  I hugged him tightly and replied, “These are happy tears, Baby.  Thank you for being so thoughtful.  I love you so much!”

I experienced so many emotions that day.  A little sadness plus lots of pride, happiness, determination, and gratitude.  And, I developed a whole new respect for single Mothers everywhere.  In our quest to “fit it all in”, we sometimes miss important details.  Isn’t it wonderful when your child shows you that, even though you don’t do everything perfectly, you are teaching him/her how to be thoughtful, giving, and loving?  That was the best birthday gift I’ve ever received!

On January 8, 2011, six people (including a child) were murdered and fourteen others were injured (including Rep. Gabrielle Giffords) in a tragedy that rocked our great Nation.

Since then, the United States has been blanketed with snow in 49 out of 50 states.  As I continue to pray for those affected by this sad event, I keep thinking of how wonderful it would be if our Country were blanketed with peace and love.  I keep thinking of the great example we would be if we exercised our right to have opposing views in a calm and respectful way.

I believe this change can happen if we all start with our own lives.  Let’s honor the memory of those who died by letting go of any anger, resentment, and jealousy we have against another.  Let’s start a movement by treating others with respect, even during times of disagreement.  Let’s look at opposing views as a way to open our minds, which always expands our lives.  Let’s accept that, even though others may be “different” than us, they are still God’s creations.  Let’s be aware that each one of us is being looked upon as a role model by someone and keep our words positive and filled with love.

Let’s wrap this peace and love blanket tightly around ourselves and our loved ones.  And, give gratitude that we can start fresh.  And, we can start NOW.

Ahhhh… doesn’t that feel great?!

Image: Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

On this 25th day of November, 2010, the citizens of The United States of America are celebrating Thanksgiving.  We’re gathering with loved ones to remininise about holidays past and create new memories over food, football, and fun!

The main purpose of this special day is to give thanks for our many blessings.  A few things that top my list are those who had the courage to venture out and discover this fine land and those that serve to protect it, my family and friends, my health and home, and the opportunity to start anew, which I did last year by creating Gratitude Boot Camp.

In honor of this celebration, I’d like to share 25 of my favorite quotes about thankfulness and gratitude (with a few created by me)…

1.  “When you become truly aware of your current blessings and are filled with genuine gratitude, your life will change in profound ways” ~ Sandy Harper

2. ”If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.”  ~ Meister Eckhart

3.  “The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.” ~ John E. Southard

4. ‎”If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy.” ~ Unknown.

5.  “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” ~ Epictetus

6.  “If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness.  It will change your life mightily.” ~ Gerald Good

7.  “When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them.” ~  Chinese Proverb

8.  “When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.” ~ Tony Robbins

9.  “Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”  ~ Kahlil Gibran

10. “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Unknown

11. “It’s important to make gratitude a habit because your habits create your life.” ~ Sandy Harper

12. “Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” ~ Brian Tracy

13. ”Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.” ~ Eileen Caddy

14. “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ” ~ Thornton Wilder

15. “Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.” ~ Seneca

16. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie

17. “Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing.” ~ Zig Ziglar

18. “You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.”  ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

19. “Whatever our individual troubles and challenges may be, it’s important to pause every now and then to appreciate all that we have, on every level. We need to literally “count our blessings,” give thanks for them, allow ourselves to enjoy them, and relish the experience of prosperity we already have.”  ~ Shakti Gawain

20. “If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.” ~ Rabbi Harold Kushner

21. “Gratitude is a powerful force that opens the door to God’s blessing. Having constant gratitude proves your faith in God because not only do you thank Him for what He has done in the past, you thank Him for what He will do in the future.” ~ Joel Osteen

22. “Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good, even in unpleasant situations. Start bringing gratitude to your experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to feel grateful.” ~ Marelisa Fábrega

23. “No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.” ~ Alfred North Whitehead

24. “Gratitude is something of which none of us can give too much.  For on the smiles, the thanks we give, out little gestures of appreciation, our neighbors build their philosophy of life.” ~ A. J. Cronin

25.  “Gratitude possesses magical power.  When you live in gratitude, you will walk in peace… no matter what circumstances arise.” ~ Sandy Harper

I’m grateful that you took the time to visit my blog.  What are you thankful for today?

In November of 2007, I got into a discussion with my dear friend, Dana, about how hard it is to have a sick child and how it must be even more difficult during the holidays.  We quickly decided to create a charity event to benefit the local Ronald McDonald House^® (RMH) program, since both of our families had been helped by them.

When he was 10 months old my nephew, Beau, was rushed by helicopter to All Children’s Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida where he under-went emergency brain surgery and endured months of recovery.  During those months, my brother & sister-in-law stayed at the Ronald McDonald House instead of having to drive hours each day to see their baby.

Dana’s niece, Tara, who was diagnosed with a rare disease, had to undergo a bone marrow transplant at All Children’s Hospital, when she was a toddler. Tara’s parents were able to reside at the Ronald McDonald House for months while waiting for Tara to recover.  The RMH allowed them to stay in the house at no charge without the worrying of driving back and forth to their home, which was hours away.

That year, we founded The Vino Ball of Central Florida.  Over the past three years, we’ve raised thousands of dollars and gift cards for the Ronald McDonald House in Orlando, Florida.  This year’s event is going to be extra-special as we honor the memory of Dana’s niece, Tara.  She passed away on October 28th and was laid to rest, close to her Grandpa Matthews, on October 30, 2010.

After being diagnosed with Sanfilippo Syndrome as a toddler, Tara underwent a bone marrow transplant in 1988.  She was three years old and the donor was her Mother, Rhonda.  She flourished for a few years – dancing, singing, and laughing her way into the hearts of everyone who met her.  In typical Southern Girl fashion, she took a liking to hunting, fishing, and most especially, horseback riding on her pony, Red.

One day, at the ripe old age of two, she saddled up to take Red for a ride.  When she didn’t return within a few minutes, her Mama went off in search of her – only to find that she’d ridden him into the house and positioned him in front of the TV to watch cartoons with her!

In 1992, the rare blood disorder returned to her little body and she became mentally and physically disabled.

Because of the deep abiding love of her family and the support of the teachers and staff at Doris A. Sanders Learning Center, Tara lived much longer than was expected.  Her family had been told that the average life-span of those afflicted with Sanfilippo is 8 to 12 years.  Tara turned 25 on October 3rd.  She had graduated from Doris A. Sanders two years before, where she was even able to attend the prom!

The Matthews family remembers, with gratitude, the special care they received at The Ronald McDonald House they lived in during Tara’s bone marrow operation.  Please join us as we raise money for this worthy cause.  This year’s event will be dedicated to the memory of a very special girl – Tara Matthews.

I invite you to join us on January 28, 2011 at The Celebration Town Tavern in Celebration, Florida for the 4th Annual Vino Ball of Central Florida.  For more information, please visit http://VinoBallofCentralFlorida.com.

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When was the last time you said thank you to… YOU?

I placed a deadline on myself where I would finish my book and write the stories for my children’s book over a 4-day period, while my son was visiting his Papi for the long weekend.  I drove Jake over on Thursday night and went to bed early so I would wake up Friday morning full of energy and ready to write.  The next morning, I awoke to a bad case of… writer’s block!!  It lasted all day.

When night-fall came, it hit me – I had been worrying all day about my self-imposed deadline and had focused on everything I still needed to get accomplished!  My books were unfinished, my Gratitude Boot Camp audio/workbook program still had to be produced, there were cards to be written and phone calls to be made, my professional business plan was not complete, etc etc etc.

“Oh my word, Sandy”, I said to myself.  “How about thinking about all of the things you have accomplished for a change?  What about the many tasks you complete every day as a business owner,  friend, writer, homeowner, single Mom, etc.?”

I immediately sat at my desk and wrote down everything I had achieved since starting Gratitude Boot Camp fifteen months ago.  After the concept came to me in the middle of the night, I created the complete curriculum to teach The 12 Gratitude Habits after researching the power of gratitude extensively.  I’ve given workshops, recorded hours of the system for the audio program, spoken to groups, built a gratitude community on Facebook and Twitter, wrote several chapters of a book that made it to the Top 25 in The Next Top Author Competition, and started a children’s book about gratitude.  I did all of this while working on my other businesses and raising a toddler/pre-schooler.  I do deserve a pat on the back, I realized!

When was the last time you made a list of your accomplishments and achievements?  Immediately after reading this article, grab a piece of paper.  At the top write the words “I thank myself for”.  Then, list everything you do on a daily basis and all of the goals you have reached this year, both big and small.

After you’ve finished this exercise, celebrate YOU!  Treat yourself to a bubble bath, go for a long walk, take yourself out for coffee or to the movies, read a book, or spend some time engaged in your favorite hobby!

Keep this list handy so you can read it the next time you’re starting to beat yourself up about everything you HAVE to do!  Hmmmm – maybe I should laminate mine!!

Well… it’s been exactly one month since my last blog posting.  So much for my goal of writing something on here at least once per week!

My first reaction when I realized it had been so long was to feel guilty.  Just like my first thought when I woke up after sleeping in last Saturday was “How dare I stay in bed until 9:00 whenever I have SO much to do?”

Why do we allow guilt to consume us?  I chatted with a friend who didn’t fully enjoy her (much-deserved) vacation recently because she felt guilty about leaving work and her child.

I’m always saying that life is too short and too precious to feel sorry for ourselves or to hold grudges or to not give gratitude for our blessings.  Yet, I somehow have kept guilt around as a regular house guest.

That stops NOW!  Today – September 17, 2010… I am declaring my home (and my brain) as a “Guilt Free Zone!”  Won’t you join me?  The next time that a guilty thought starts to form in your head or come out of your mouth, stop it with a power word!  A power word is one that you use to stop immediately so you can refocus your thoughts and/or words.  As soon as the guilt starts, shout “Love” (even if it’s only in your head) and then say – “I feel great.  I am grateful for this very moment and embrace it fully.”

(Photo by Michal Marcol – http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=371)

I was having dinner with a friend and we laughed over his latest adventure.  Of course, we were able to laugh about it because he had the wisdom and strength not to immediately react to a situation, that could have proven deadly.

He was in a cage with a 500 lb female tiger that he had recently started to sponsor.  Her trainer was in there and told him to remain calm whenever he could see that she was becoming extremely territorial with her “new toy”!  As she placed her enormous arm around his body and took his arm into her mouth, his first instinct was to yank it away and run for his life.  Just pulling back a little, caused her to clamp down her teeth and give him a constant reminder of the importance of being slow to react.  He now sports two small scars on his arm.  It could have been so much worse.

Though most of us will have few, if any, life-or-death situations; we will all experience circumstances that cause our heart to race and make us want to react immediately.  Perhaps someone just sent you a nasty or threatening email.  Perhaps you just found out that someone is spreading gossip.  Perhaps you lost a business contract even though you did all the work.   Reacting immediately to these types of events is actually the worst response.  While it may not kill us, it could potentially tarnish our reputation; cause us to say things that we later regret; or end a relationship that could have been salvaged.

Unless your house is on fire or your child is about to dart into traffic, there are very few times when you must react immediately.  When you experience an upsetting or unsettling occurrence, always stop before you do anything.  Take some deep breathes.  Count your blessings.  Stretch.  Go for a walk.  Listen to some music.  When you are in a more calm state of mind, sit down with a pen and paper & ask yourself these questions…

1.  Why am I upset?

2.  What is the most professional/spiritual way to handle this?

3.  What steps do I need to take to address this so that it does not escalate or happen again?  Would it be best to just ignore it so as not to antagonize?

4.  Do I need to sever ties with this person?  If so, how do I do that and remain “on the high road”?

5.  Do I need to seek help from someone trustworthy and qualified?

6.  What is the lesson for me to learn?

7.  What is the humor in this?

The next time you find yourself feeling like a toy in the jaws of one of life’s ‘tigers’, simply STOP before acting.  That way, the scars that you get, if any, will be small and you will feel as proud as a lion.

(Photo by Arvind Balaraman ~ http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1058)

Every once in a while, Opportunity knocks and you know that not only do you need to open the door wide…you need to grab her, give her a welcoming hug, invite her to dinner and use your best china!

I was sitting at my desk at the end of March and, at the exact moment that I thought to myself,  ”I must get my book written NOW”, I received an email from a friend that invited Authors and Aspiring Authors to take part in “The Next Top Spiritual Author” competition.  Wow…another serendipitous moment that sent chill bumps all over my body!

Ever since I created Gratitude Boot Camp last year and started sharing it as a coaching program, I have been led to put it into book form so that millions can benefit from learning how to make gratitude a daily habit.  During the first Gratitude Boot Camp session I watched, in awe, as people’s lives were transformed, personally and professionally.  After speaking at a Law of Attraction Meetup, I was approached by a woman who told me that I had given her the strength to continue after losing her son 8 months before.  My story had inspired her to be grateful for the time that she had him and to focus on her current blessings.  That is when I decided to include some of my personal story, in my book, along with the steps needed to create a life filled with happiness, love, peace, success, and abundance.

The Next Top Author Competition started on March 29th.  It is comprised of four rounds where Authors share their books with a panel of publishing experts and with the public.  In the final round, the Grand Prize Winner will receive a publishing contract with Hampton Roads Publishing.  I am excited to present my upcoming book, Gratitude Habit, as an entry.  Please visit http://sn.im/TopAuthor to watch the video pitch of my book; read the book proposal and read Chapter 1.  While you are there, be sure and vote!

There were 2800 Authors who competed in Round 1 and 271 advanced to Round 2.  I am so honored to be one of them and am grateful for everyone’s support.  I finished uploading my book proposal and Chapter 1 last night, just as the Season Finale’ of American Idol was ending.  I thought to myself “How exciting!  I feel like I am involved in ‘The American Idol for Authors’!!

Welcome Home, Opportunity!  I’ve been waiting for you my entire life!!