Sandy Speaks…

I was having dinner with a friend and we laughed over his latest adventure.  Of course, we were able to laugh about it because he had the wisdom and strength not to immediately react to a situation, that could have proven deadly. 

He was in a cage with a 500 lb female tiger that he had recently started to sponsor.  Her trainer was in there and told him to remain calm whenever he could see that she was becoming extremely territorial with her “new toy”!  As she placed her enormous arm around his body and took his arm into her mouth, his first instinct was to yank it away and run for his life.  Just pulling back a little, caused her to clamp down her teeth and give him a constant reminder of the importance of being slow to react.  He now sports two small scars on his arm.  It could have been so much worse.

Though most of us will have few, if any, life-or-death situations; we will all experience circumstances that cause our heart to race and make us want to react immediately.  Perhaps someone just sent you a nasty or threatening email.  Perhaps you just found out that someone is spreading gossip.  Perhaps you lost a business contract even though you did all the work.   Reacting immediately to these types of events is actually the worst response.  While it may not kill us, it could potentially tarnish our reputation; cause us to say things that we later regret; or end a relationship that could have been salvaged.

Unless your house is on fire or your child is about to dart into traffic, there are very few times when you must react immediately.  When you experience an upsetting or unsettling occurrence, always stop before you do anything.  Take some deep breathes.  Count your blessings.  Stretch.  Go for a walk.  Listen to some music.  When you are in a more calm state of mind, sit down with a pen and paper & ask yourself these questions…

1.  Why am I upset?

2.  What is the most professional/spiritual way to handle this?

3.  What steps do I need to take to address this so that it does not escalate or happen again?  Would it be best to just ignore it so as not to antagonize?

4.  Do I need to sever ties with this person?  If so, how do I do that and remain “on the high road”?

5.  Do I need to seek help from someone trustworthy and qualified?

6.  What is the lesson for me to learn?

7.  What is the humor in this?

The next time you find yourself feeling like a toy in the jaws of one of life’s ‘tigers’, simply STOP before acting.  That way, the scars that you get, if any, will be small and you will feel as proud as a lion.

(Photo by Arvind Balaraman ~ http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1058)

Every once in a while, Opportunity knocks and you know that not only do you need to open the door wide…you need to grab her, give her a welcoming hug, invite her to dinner and use your best china!

I was sitting at my desk at the end of March and, at the exact moment that I thought to myself,  ”I must get my book written NOW”, I received an email from a friend that invited Authors and Aspiring Authors to take part in “The Next Top Spiritual Author” competition.  Wow…another serendipitous moment that sent chill bumps all over my body!

Ever since I created Gratitude Boot Camp last year and started sharing it as a coaching program, I have been led to put it into book form so that millions can benefit from learning how to make gratitude a daily habit.  During the first Gratitude Boot Camp session I watched, in awe, as people’s lives were transformed, personally and professionally.  After speaking at a Law of Attraction Meetup, I was approached by a woman who told me that I had given her the strength to continue after losing her son 8 months before.  My story had inspired her to be grateful for the time that she had him and to focus on her current blessings.  That is when I decided to include some of my personal story, in my book, along with the steps needed to create a life filled with happiness, love, peace, success, and abundance.

The Next Top Author Competition started on March 29th.  It is comprised of four rounds where Authors share their books with a panel of publishing experts and with the public.  In the final round, the Grand Prize Winner will receive a publishing contract with Hampton Roads Publishing.  I am excited to present my upcoming book, Gratitude Habit, as an entry.  Please visit http://sn.im/TopAuthor to watch the video pitch of my book; read the book proposal and read Chapter 1.  While you are there, be sure and vote!

There were 2800 Authors who competed in Round 1 and 271 advanced to Round 2.  I am so honored to be one of them and am grateful for everyone’s support.  I finished uploading my book proposal and Chapter 1 last night, just as the Season Finale’ of American Idol was ending.  I thought to myself “How exciting!  I feel like I am involved in ‘The American Idol for Authors’!!

Welcome Home, Opportunity!  I’ve been waiting for you my entire life!!

Every once in a while, Opportunity knocks and you know that not only do you need to open the door wide…you need to grab her, give her a welcoming hug, invite her to dinner and use your best china!

I was sitting at my desk a few nights ago and, at the exact moment that I thought to myself,  ”I must get my book written NOW”, I received an email from a friend that invited Authors and Aspiring Authors to take part in “The Next Top Spiritual Author” competition.  Wow…another serendipitous moment that sent chill bumps all over my body!

Ever since I created “Gratitude Boot Camp” last year and started sharing it as a coaching program, I have been led to put it into book form so that millions can benefit from learning how to make gratitude a daily habit.  During the first Gratitude Boot Camp session I watched, in awe, as people’s lives were transformed, personally and professionally.  And, after speaking at a Law of Attraction Meetup, I was approached by a woman who told me that I had given her the strength to continue after losing her son 8 months before.  My story had inspired her to be grateful for the time that she had him and to focus on her current blessings.  That is when I decided to include my personal story, in my book, along with the steps needed to create a life filled with happiness, love, peace, success, and abundance.

The Next Top Author Competition started on March 29th.  It is comprised of four rounds where Authors will pitch their book idea; prepare a book proposal; and submit chapters.  In the final round, the Grand Prize Winner will receive a publishing contract with Hampton Roads Publishing.  I am honored to present my upcoming book, Gratitude Habit, as an entry.  You can read more about Gratitude Habit at http://www.SandySpeaks.com/books and can hear the audio pitch on my Next Top Author profile page.

There are over 2500 Authors competing in Round 1.  Only 250 will advance to Round 2 and 75% of the vote is based on the number of votes that an Author obtains.  Please help me spread the Power of Gratitude to millions by voting for me on my Next Top Author profile page at http://www.sn.im/TopAuthor.  

After you vote, send me an e-mail message at Sandy@GratitudeBootCamp.com and I will send you the article that I wrote entitled “6 Simple Ways to Create The Gratitude Habit”.  Additonally, everyone who votes will be placed in a drawing to receive free tuition to a 12-week Gratitude Boot Camp TeleClass and an autographed copy of Gratitude Habit.

Welcome Home, Opportunity!  I’ve been waiting for you my entire life!!!

When I posted my 50 life lessons in January, number four on the list was…

Make decisions wisely and from a place of love and goodness, choosing to do what is in everyone’s best interest.

Oftentimes in life, we either make hasty decisions (which is never wise) or we make decisions based totally on our own selfish desires.  I have certainly been guilty of not stopping to think things through sometimes and, in those moments, the choices that I made inevitably did not turn out the best for everyone involved.

Thankfully, I have made some major decisions in my life based on what was in everyone’s best interest.  And, in those instances, the results were positive.

• When my Mom died, I was 16 years old.  I sat at her grave-site and said to myself, “Sandy…this can either make you better or it can make you bitter.  It’s your choice.”  I chose to be better because of it…to be empathetic towards others who experience loss; to appreciate my health; and to strive to be like her ~ kind, strong, accepting, nonjudgmental.  That was the best choice for everyone because I still had a younger brother and Daddy to take care of at home and it would not have served them well for me to be bitter.

•  When my Daddy died unexpectedly on Christmas Eve, three years after my Mom, I had another choice to make.  I could be sad every year at Christmas time or I could celebrate it fully to make fond memories for others, that will last long after I am gone.  I was a teenager.  Did I really want Christmas to be a sad occasion for the rest of my life?  Absolutely not!  I chose to make it a joyous occasion and started collecting Christmas decorations and ornaments, obtaining something new every year since.  It takes me days to decorate my home for Christmas now and I love sharing it with others and hosting parties and celebrating Life!

•  Shortly after my Daddy died, I got married and, after a custody battle, his 5 year old daughter, Stephanie, came to live with us full-time.  Her Mother, Carolyn, moved away and was heartbroken.  Stephanie looked at me with her big, blue eyes and said “Do I call you Mommy now?”  I had a choice to make.  I could have told her to absolutely call me Mommy because I was her Mother now and could have spoken badly about her Mom.  Instead, I said “You have a Mommy that loves you very much.  You can call me Sandy.”  And…I chose to include Carolyn in every major decision and we stayed in close contact.  Now…30 years later, Carolyn and I are very close friends who (along with her Dad) raised a daughter together who is sweet, thoughtful, and kind.  Stephanie had the joy of always having three families that loved her and, even though her Dad and I divorced when she was 12, we are all a close, extended family to this day.

•  Even though I am not in a relationship with my 3 year old son’s father any more, we have chosen to be good friends and co-parents.  We truly care about each other and it is definitely in Jake’s best interest to see us respect each other and to be happy when we are around one another.

The next time that you have a major event in your life, won’t you take a moment to really think it through, choosing to do what is in everyone’s best interest?  Take it from me…it will make your life peaceful and happy & you will be setting a good example for those that look to you for guidance.

When my three year old son, Jake, and I go for a walk or to the grocery store or anywhere for that matter, he acts as if he is running for Mayor.  He greets everyone with a cheerful “Hi” and  if he is not able to find out your name, he will make one up for you (and he always comes up with very interesting monikers for people)!

There was a time whenever my friends were worried that there was something wrong with him because he did not seem to connect.  He did not say the word “Mommy” until much, much later than his playmates.  In fact, he was the last one in our playgroup to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, and talk although he is one of the eldest of the bunch.

I recently took him for his 3 year old check-up although he is 3.5 now.  I know, I know…I’m always late too (hey…wait a minute, maybe he comes by it justly?  And…before you judge my mothering skills, you must know that there were no major shots or anything involved in this doctor visit).  His Pediatrician was amazed at his level of communication (even though she had been somewhat skeptical that there was anything wrong when I showed up at her office in tears, one year earlier).  “Did you put him in therapy?” she asked.  “No” I replied “About a week after my panicked visit, he started talking up a storm, in complete sentences and full of emotion & empathy, and he has not stopped since!”  She and I hugged!

I looked at her, contemplatively, and said, “You know…there is a life lesson here.  We are sometimes so quick to judge and we, so often, live our lives in a state of comparison.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we simply accepted each other, encouraged each other to reach our potential, and did not judge each other’s process of growth, whether we be children or adults?”  She smiled and said “Why yes, it would”.  After she walked out with her stethoscope in hand, I gave my child an extra hug and gave myself a break for the fact that I was at a place that some may view as “being behind”.  And, as I walked out of the doctor’s office, I thought “Watch out world…I might just run for Mayor!”

*I am adding to this post to clarify a couple of things about my child.  He reached all of his major milestones within the “normal” time frames, it was just always at the very end.  He loves to play with other children and connects with people very well.  Like all 3 year olds, he asks millions of questions each day (his favorite is asking what every single sign says as we drive up and down Interstate 4; which we do a lot, so Mommy is learning the art of extreme patience) and we carry on conversations with each other.  He is smart and sweet with a great sense of humor and some of the same “quirks” that I had as a child.  I really believe that, while you should make sure that your child is developing his/her major milestones according to “the charts”, you also have to be careful about comparing him/her to other children.  And, I believe that you need to accept them for who they are and praise & encourage them to excel without placing judgment upon them.*

Today, on my 50th birthday, I would like to share 50 Life Lessons that I have learned.  Some of them are repeats of classics that are too powerful to re-word; some I have learned the hard way; some I am just now starting to implement; and some are humorous and meant to show that you should have fun in life!   Each one carries a valuable message so I hope you will savor them as you read…

My 50 Life Lessons

1.     Be true to yourself and follow your hearts desires.

 2.     Surround yourself with positive, supportive, and uplifting people.

 3.     Take responsibility for your actions and own up to your mistakes. 

 4.     Make decisions wisely and from a place of love and goodness, choosing to do what is in everyone’s best interest.

 5.     It’s okay to eat popcorn for dinner and sushi for breakfast.

 6.     Stand up for yourself and know that sometimes that simply means to move on, once you have done what is right.

 7.     Some people only come into your life for a season, and that’s okay.

 8.     Become an expert about something you’re passionate about.

 9.     Be honest.  Always.

 10.   Resolve issues quickly and with a calmness of spirit.

 11.     Give thanks all day long for all of your blessings, big and small.

 12.    Forgive others and yourself quickly…and move on.

 13.    Get on the floor and play with a child.

 14.    Establish traditions and keep them going.

 15.    Get 8 hours of sleep and drink lots of water.

 16.    Sit down with your parents and/or grandparents and have them share their life story.

 17.    Get married only if you have no doubts.

 18.    True friends are more valuable than gold.  Treasure them.

 19.    Never be judgmental and remember that what people think of you is none of your business.

 20.  There is no such thing as skirts that are too short, earrings that are too big, lipstick that is too bright, or heels that are too high when you’re going out!

 21.    Remove all negative influences from your life, including people who are toxic.

 22.   Be yourself, but be your best self.

 23.   Laugh.  A lot.

 24.  Travel to at least one foreign country.

 25.  Have a place for everything and everything in its place.

 26.  Always be the bigger person.

 27.  Reach out to help those less fortunate.

 28.  If you can’t say something nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all.

 29.  You are who you hang around.

 30.  Pursue your passions.

 31.   Keep a journal, especially a gratitude journal.

 32.  Write down your goals and take at least one action step toward them each day.

 33.  Be comfortable spending time with yourself.

 34.  Sing and Dance.  A lot.

 35.  Life is too short and too precious to hold grudges or to be jealous or envious.

 36.  Say “I love you”.  Often.

 37.  The minute you start to feel overwhelmed or stressed, take some deep breathes and count your blessings.

 38.   Eat Healthy.  Most of the time.

 39.   Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

 40.   Get massages.  A lot.

 41.    Regret is a wasted emotion.  Learn your lessons and move on.

 42.   Marry or date someone who loves to kiss.  A lot.

 43.   Be in the present moment.  You will never have that time again. 

 44.   Go to major events like someone’s wedding, graduation, funeral, or birthday party.  Once it is over, it’s over and you’ll never have a 2^ndchance to attend.

 45.   Read.  A lot.

 46.   Take lots of pictures and arrange or organize them as soon as possible.

47.  Go ahead and ask for what you want.  If the answer is no, you have not lost anything.

 48.   If someone writes you a love letter, keep it forever.

 49.   It is easier to keep up than to catch up.

50.  You can’t change anyone.  Think of how hard it is to change yourself.

 And…One to grow on:  Always Be on Time!

I had to write my annual poem
   As 2009 comes to an end
I am full of love and gratitude
   That to all of you I had to send.

Jake is now three years old
   He is friendly and such a little man
He is very tall with a head full of curls
   He speaks Spanish, sings songs, and is Mommy’s biggest fan.

Stephanie is a full-time student now
   And I can’t believe that Hailey has turned ten
I lost both Shakespeare and Spencer
   I sure miss my sweet, furry friends.

My family is happy and healthy
   A great-nephew named Luke Ryan arrived
I’m available to consult about real estate
   I still eat Mila each day to feel healthy and alive.

I created Gratitude Boot Camp
   Where I coach about counting your blessings
There is a Gratitude Boot Camp fan page on Facebook
   I can’t wait to see what miracles GBC brings.

I’m the Leader in Orlando and Celebration
   For a wonderful organization
Women’s Prosperity Network
   Is expanding throughout the Nation.

I’ve created a mantra for the New Year
   Let’s all say it together
Stand tall, Smile, and Shout Out Loud
   “2010 is my best year EVER”!

           HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Lately, I have really been working on my own personal self-development.  I have been blessed with the responsibility of raising a child and I am on a new journey of coaching others, so I have to hold myself to a higher standard.

One very important attribute that I’ve been concentrating on is the act of forgiveness.  One of the hardest things to do is to forgive someone who has caused you pain.  However, as I’ve recently discovered, it is extremely liberating to “get over it”.  When you do, the hurt no longer dominates your mind.  When someone hurts me, I generally become consumed with thinking about the incident or action over and over and over.  Or, I decide to retreat completely from the situation where the hurt took place.  It’s exhausting!

Recently, I was feeling very hurt by someone who I am close to in my life.  As the incident started playing over and over again in my head, I realized that I had to stop and forgive…truly forgive.  Which made me stop and look at things from their perspective.  It was amazing how I could physically feel the hurt going out of me and how I was crystal clear on the fact that I did not want to lose or mess up this valuable friendship.  I shudder to think of what might have happened if I were not in this period of working on myself!  Things are back to normal and when we discussed the topic again, it was in a really casual & relaxing way.  This forgiveness stuff really works!!

Of course, there are instances where someone hurts you to the point that you know that the relationship must end.  But, you still must practice forgiveness of that person…otherwise the incident/action continues to cause you pain and discomfort…even after the person is gone.  Even if you do not contact that person because you do not want to invite them back into your life, it is still very important to forgive them so you can move on from the negative thoughts.  And, it actually makes you feel at peace whenever you ask God to bless the person who was hurtful.  It helps to realize that some people are put into your life for a reason but were not meant to stay in it forever.  As you reflect back on your relationship with that person, in a relaxed state, you will find that there were lessons to be learned and you can be Grateful to that person for giving you those lessons.

It is also important to forgive yourself.  That is something that has been a bit of a struggle for me lately.  My whole life I have lived with the motto that “regret is a wasted emotion”.  But, this year, I have been kicking myself for some of the mistakes that I have made.  I finally have realized that the time & energy that I am spending on beating myself up could be spent on taking positive steps toward a bright, new future. 

So…if something hurtful happens now, I start working on the forgiveness aspect of it pretty quickly after it happens.  That way, I can move on toward my bright future.  And…I stop to count my blessings…that always helps me to truly forgive so I can finally forget!

Gratitude Peace Marble

I am always amazed whenever The Universe brings people together at the precise moment when they are on the same exact path!  I recently had this wonderful phenomenon happen to me and I not only acquired an amazing new friend; it solidified that my new business/mission is meant to be!

While attending Mega Book ’09, I was very fortunate to meet some remarkable people, including a gorgeous lady with a beautiful soul named Elizabeth Zachariah.  Elizabeth, along with her friends Cherie Duncan, Kim Roman Corle, and Jan Avant, made me feel completely welcome and I knew that they were women that I wanted to get to know better.  After the event, we all connected on and have stayed in touch through Facebook.

During the week that I decided to create Gratitude Boot Camp, I received a message from Elizabeth, the founder of Blue Marble 4 Life, Inc, stating that she wanted to ask me a question.  At that point, I had not shared my thoughts about Gratitude Boot Camp with anyone.  When I called her, she said that she was putting together a project that would send four Gratitude Marbles (to represent the four corners of the earth), along with a Peace Marble (inscribed with the word Peace in 37 languages), on a world-wide mission for peace.  Her plan was to appoint Blue Angel Ambassadors, throughout the world, which would host The Marbles and help to spread a message of Gratitude, Peace, and Love.  She said that she immediately thought of me (even though she had no idea that I had just decided to devote my life to promoting the power of Gratitude) when she was thinking of Ambassadors.  It was serendipitous and I felt very honored!

As a Blue Angel Ambassador, it is my duty to host a Gratitude Gathering; which brings people together to count their blessings and to take part in this special Global Celebration of Peace; as we send The Marbles to the next destination on their incredible journey.

So…it is with great pleasure that I am hosting an event named “Walk in Gratitude…Live in Peace” in my hometown – Celebration, Florida.  At 4:00 p.m. on 9/26/09, we will gather on the front lawn of Celebration’s Heritage Hall at Spring Park…wearing blue and carrying or wearing the peace sign…to view The Marbles (which are arriving in Celebration after their trip to Hale Barns, Cheshire in The United Kingdom); to sign the Gratitude Journal (which is accompanying The Marbles), and to record their visit to our great community.  Then, we will bid The Marbles a fond farewell as they leave Celebration and travel to Australia….while we continue on to Celebration’s Mona Lisa for a special “Happiness Hour”. If you are traveling to attend this special event, The Mona Lisa Suite Hotels is offering a special “Gratitude Rate” for the weekend.

You can visit www.BlueMarble4Life.com to watch the inspirational kick-off video; to track The Marbles’ travels; and to register/join The Blue Marble Tribe, if you choose.  If you join, you will receive your very own Gratitude Blue Marble and The Gratitude Pledge. 

If you cannot attend the Gratitude Gathering in Celebration, visit http://BlueMarble4Life.com to see if The Marbles are coming to your area!

You can also follow this exciting Global Celebration of Peace at www.YouTube.com/BlueMarble4Life; at www.Twitter.com/BlueMarble4Life; and at The Blue Marble 4 Life Fan Page on Facebook (http://bit.ly/pLPf3).

I believe that living a Gratitude-filled life can change the world and promote peace amongst all of God’s children.