Sandy Speaks…

Today, on my 50th birthday, I would like to share 50 Life Lessons that I have learned.  Some of them are repeats of classics that are too powerful to re-word; some I have learned the hard way; some I am just now starting to implement; and some are humorous and meant to show that you should have fun in life!   Each one carries a valuable message so I hope you will savor them as you read…

My 50 Life Lessons

1.     Be true to yourself and follow your hearts desires.

 2.     Surround yourself with positive, supportive, and uplifting people.

 3.     Take responsibility for your actions and own up to your mistakes. 

 4.     Make decisions wisely and from a place of love and goodness, choosing to do what is in everyone’s best interest.

 5.     It’s okay to eat popcorn for dinner and sushi for breakfast.

 6.     Stand up for yourself and know that sometimes that simply means to move on, once you have done what is right.

 7.     Some people only come into your life for a season, and that’s okay.

 8.     Become an expert about something you’re passionate about.

 9.     Be honest.  Always.

 10.   Resolve issues quickly and with a calmness of spirit.

 11.     Give thanks all day long for all of your blessings, big and small.

 12.    Forgive others and yourself quickly…and move on.

 13.    Get on the floor and play with a child.

 14.    Establish traditions and keep them going.

 15.    Get 8 hours of sleep and drink lots of water.

 16.    Sit down with your parents and/or grandparents and have them share their life story.

 17.    Get married only if you have no doubts.

 18.    True friends are more valuable than gold.  Treasure them.

 19.    Never be judgmental and remember that what people think of you is none of your business.

 20.  There is no such thing as skirts that are too short, earrings that are too big, lipstick that is too bright, or heels that are too high when you’re going out!

 21.    Remove all negative influences from your life, including people who are toxic.

 22.   Be yourself, but be your best self.

 23.   Laugh.  A lot.

 24.  Travel to at least one foreign country.

 25.  Have a place for everything and everything in its place.

 26.  Always be the bigger person.

 27.  Reach out to help those less fortunate.

 28.  If you can’t say something nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all.

 29.  You are who you hang around.

 30.  Pursue your passions.

 31.   Keep a journal, especially a gratitude journal.

 32.  Write down your goals and take at least one action step toward them each day.

 33.  Be comfortable spending time with yourself.

 34.  Sing and Dance.  A lot.

 35.  Life is too short and too precious to hold grudges or to be jealous or envious.

 36.  Say “I love you”.  Often.

 37.  The minute you start to feel overwhelmed or stressed, take some deep breathes and count your blessings.

 38.   Eat Healthy.  Most of the time.

 39.   Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

 40.   Get massages.  A lot.

 41.    Regret is a wasted emotion.  Learn your lessons and move on.

 42.   Marry or date someone who loves to kiss.  A lot.

 43.   Be in the present moment.  You will never have that time again. 

 44.   Go to major events like someone’s wedding, graduation, funeral, or birthday party.  Once it is over, it’s over and you’ll never have a 2^ndchance to attend.

 45.   Read.  A lot.

 46.   Take lots of pictures and arrange or organize them as soon as possible.

47.  Go ahead and ask for what you want.  If the answer is no, you have not lost anything.

 48.   If someone writes you a love letter, keep it forever.

 49.   It is easier to keep up than to catch up.

50.  You can’t change anyone.  Think of how hard it is to change yourself.

 And…One to grow on:  Always Be on Time!

Lately, I have really been working on my own personal self-development.  I have been blessed with the responsibility of raising a child and I am on a new journey of coaching others, so I have to hold myself to a higher standard.

One very important attribute that I’ve been concentrating on is the act of forgiveness.  One of the hardest things to do is to forgive someone who has caused you pain.  However, as I’ve recently discovered, it is extremely liberating to “get over it”.  When you do, the hurt no longer dominates your mind.  When someone hurts me, I generally become consumed with thinking about the incident or action over and over and over.  Or, I decide to retreat completely from the situation where the hurt took place.  It’s exhausting!

Recently, I was feeling very hurt by someone who I am close to in my life.  As the incident started playing over and over again in my head, I realized that I had to stop and forgive…truly forgive.  Which made me stop and look at things from their perspective.  It was amazing how I could physically feel the hurt going out of me and how I was crystal clear on the fact that I did not want to lose or mess up this valuable friendship.  I shudder to think of what might have happened if I were not in this period of working on myself!  Things are back to normal and when we discussed the topic again, it was in a really casual & relaxing way.  This forgiveness stuff really works!!

Of course, there are instances where someone hurts you to the point that you know that the relationship must end.  But, you still must practice forgiveness of that person…otherwise the incident/action continues to cause you pain and discomfort…even after the person is gone.  Even if you do not contact that person because you do not want to invite them back into your life, it is still very important to forgive them so you can move on from the negative thoughts.  And, it actually makes you feel at peace whenever you ask God to bless the person who was hurtful.  It helps to realize that some people are put into your life for a reason but were not meant to stay in it forever.  As you reflect back on your relationship with that person, in a relaxed state, you will find that there were lessons to be learned and you can be Grateful to that person for giving you those lessons.

It is also important to forgive yourself.  That is something that has been a bit of a struggle for me lately.  My whole life I have lived with the motto that “regret is a wasted emotion”.  But, this year, I have been kicking myself for some of the mistakes that I have made.  I finally have realized that the time & energy that I am spending on beating myself up could be spent on taking positive steps toward a bright, new future. 

So…if something hurtful happens now, I start working on the forgiveness aspect of it pretty quickly after it happens.  That way, I can move on toward my bright future.  And…I stop to count my blessings…that always helps me to truly forgive so I can finally forget!