Sandy Speaks…

I was having dinner with a friend and we laughed over his latest adventure.  Of course, we were able to laugh about it because he had the wisdom and strength not to immediately react to a situation, that could have proven deadly. 

He was in a cage with a 500 lb female tiger that he had recently started to sponsor.  Her trainer was in there and told him to remain calm whenever he could see that she was becoming extremely territorial with her “new toy”!  As she placed her enormous arm around his body and took his arm into her mouth, his first instinct was to yank it away and run for his life.  Just pulling back a little, caused her to clamp down her teeth and give him a constant reminder of the importance of being slow to react.  He now sports two small scars on his arm.  It could have been so much worse.

Though most of us will have few, if any, life-or-death situations; we will all experience circumstances that cause our heart to race and make us want to react immediately.  Perhaps someone just sent you a nasty or threatening email.  Perhaps you just found out that someone is spreading gossip.  Perhaps you lost a business contract even though you did all the work.   Reacting immediately to these types of events is actually the worst response.  While it may not kill us, it could potentially tarnish our reputation; cause us to say things that we later regret; or end a relationship that could have been salvaged.

Unless your house is on fire or your child is about to dart into traffic, there are very few times when you must react immediately.  When you experience an upsetting or unsettling occurrence, always stop before you do anything.  Take some deep breathes.  Count your blessings.  Stretch.  Go for a walk.  Listen to some music.  When you are in a more calm state of mind, sit down with a pen and paper & ask yourself these questions…

1.  Why am I upset?

2.  What is the most professional/spiritual way to handle this?

3.  What steps do I need to take to address this so that it does not escalate or happen again?  Would it be best to just ignore it so as not to antagonize?

4.  Do I need to sever ties with this person?  If so, how do I do that and remain “on the high road”?

5.  Do I need to seek help from someone trustworthy and qualified?

6.  What is the lesson for me to learn?

7.  What is the humor in this?

The next time you find yourself feeling like a toy in the jaws of one of life’s ‘tigers’, simply STOP before acting.  That way, the scars that you get, if any, will be small and you will feel as proud as a lion.

(Photo by Arvind Balaraman ~ http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1058)

It has been my life-long dream to be a writer and a speaker.  When I was a little girl, I would write stories and read them to my parents, who always gave me raving reviews!  In the summer of 2009, I made the decision to finally fulfill that dream.  

In March of this year, I entered a competition, along with 2800 other Authors, called “The Next Top Spiritual Author” with my first solo book, “Gratitude Habit”.  In May, I advanced to Round 2, along with 270 other Authors.  During a conference call yesterday, the 25 Authors who are advancing into Round 3 were announced.  I am grateful & honored to be one of them!

The night before the call, I could not sleep at all as I was filled with anticipation.  The morning of the call, I was invited to visit a page on Facebook where several participants were sharing their feelings.  Everyone was feeling nervous and excited about the announcement.  When they called my name, I instantly started crying and fell to my knees to give thanks to God.  Then, I started thinking “Did they really just call my name?”  I was almost scared to believe it!  It wasn’t until someone posted “congratulations” on my Facebook wall that it started to sink in that I actually had advanced!!

After the call, I told my three year old son, Jake, that it was time to do a happy dance, which we reserve for really big celebrations!  We danced and jumped and sang until I was out of breathe!  We then placed a few phone calls to share the news with our closest friends and Jake caught on that they were saying “congratulations”.  Later that day, he said “Congratunations, Mommy!”  It was so sweet and adorable!!!!

In the first two rounds, part of our score was based on obtaining votes from the public and I am so grateful to all of my supporters.  In this round, there will be no public voting.  Each of the 25 Authors will submit two more chapters of our book, which will be reviewed by a panel of publishing professionals.  The panel will choose the four finalists for round four of the competition.  Every Author who entered this contest deserves applause.  I am looking forward to reading each book that comes to fruition because of this spiritual movement.

As I continue forth on my mission to spread the power of gratitude, my biggest wish is that my parents were still alive to see me working on making my dream come true.  I know that they would be my biggest fans!!

I was out of town Tuesday night when I received the text from my room-mate/manny, just before midnight.  He was contacting me with the news that my air conditioner had died…completely.  We live in Central Florida, where we have been experiencing temperatures in the 90’s, and even in the low 100’s some days!

My immediate reaction was an expletive spoken under my breath (which I quickly asked forgiveness for).  But, then I started “practicing what I preach” in my Gratitude Boot Camp sessions.  I took some deep, cleansing breaths and started counting all of my blessings.  Then, I said my prayers and drifted off to sleep soundly (instead of tossing and turning and worrying, as I would have done in days past).

The next day, I did not allow myself to get upset at all about the broken air conditioner, even though it was happening at an inopportune time.  Instead, I focused on my blessings; remembered that I grew up in a house with no air in Florida and survived; and took action to find ways to live with the situation for a while, by getting my hands on some oscillating fans to use temporarily.  I went about my day in a calm way, knowing that “this too shall pass”.

As I was driving home last night, I kept my thoughts on all of the good things going on in my life, not allowing any negative statements to enter my brain, not even for a minute!  When we arrived home, I explained to my almost-four year old son, Jake, that he was only gonna sleep in a light shirt, instead of his jammies and socks, for a while.  I started walking towards the stairs to put him to bed.  I felt completely at ease with our situation and was ready to let the hot night take me back to happy, childhood memories.  

As I was passing by the closet that holds the breaker box for my house, I stopped to check it even though David had already done so.  The breaker for the air conditioner appeared to be lined up with all of the rest, but I flipped it off and back on any way.  It was music to my ears when I heard the air conditioner kick on and Jake squealed with delight when his Mommy started doing a very up-beat happy dance!  We danced around and sang our new “Mommy and Jake are Grateful for Air Conditioning” song for quite a while before we went up to his bedroom.  It was fun!!!

I woke up feeling extra grateful and happy today.  David is perplexed.  Jake is well-rested.  And, I am feeling the powerful sense of accomplishment that comes with remaining calm during a crises.  

Resolve, right now, that you will remain calm the next time an unexpected challenge arises in your life.  It is powerful.

Every once in a while, Opportunity knocks and you know that not only do you need to open the door wide…you need to grab her, give her a welcoming hug, invite her to dinner and use your best china!

I was sitting at my desk at the end of March and, at the exact moment that I thought to myself,  ”I must get my book written NOW”, I received an email from a friend that invited Authors and Aspiring Authors to take part in “The Next Top Spiritual Author” competition.  Wow…another serendipitous moment that sent chill bumps all over my body!

Ever since I created Gratitude Boot Camp last year and started sharing it as a coaching program, I have been led to put it into book form so that millions can benefit from learning how to make gratitude a daily habit.  During the first Gratitude Boot Camp session I watched, in awe, as people’s lives were transformed, personally and professionally.  After speaking at a Law of Attraction Meetup, I was approached by a woman who told me that I had given her the strength to continue after losing her son 8 months before.  My story had inspired her to be grateful for the time that she had him and to focus on her current blessings.  That is when I decided to include some of my personal story, in my book, along with the steps needed to create a life filled with happiness, love, peace, success, and abundance.

The Next Top Author Competition started on March 29th.  It is comprised of four rounds where Authors share their books with a panel of publishing experts and with the public.  In the final round, the Grand Prize Winner will receive a publishing contract with Hampton Roads Publishing.  I am excited to present my upcoming book, Gratitude Habit, as an entry.  Please visit http://sn.im/TopAuthor to watch the video pitch of my book; read the book proposal and read Chapter 1.  While you are there, be sure and vote!

There were 2800 Authors who competed in Round 1 and 271 advanced to Round 2.  I am so honored to be one of them and am grateful for everyone’s support.  I finished uploading my book proposal and Chapter 1 last night, just as the Season Finale’ of American Idol was ending.  I thought to myself “How exciting!  I feel like I am involved in ‘The American Idol for Authors’!!

Welcome Home, Opportunity!  I’ve been waiting for you my entire life!!

Begin and end your day with these affirmations. 

Take some deep breaths and get into a relaxed state and, as you read each one, feel the emotion that it invokes.

Do this daily…your words create your reality…

♥ I am filled with Gratitude for all of my blessings today!

♥ I have great self-management skills!

♥ I am surrounded by positive people who add value to my life!

♥ I am massively organized!

♥ I have a joyful spirit!

♥ I am financially free and am Grateful for my riches!

♥ Today, I will concentrate on taking one step forward, however small!

♥ I do whatever it takes!

♥ I act in spite of my fears!

♥ My loved ones are happy, healthy, and prospering!

♥ I schedule my priorities every day!

♥ I am laser-focused on my priorities!

♥ I am a self-reliant and successful person!

♥ I forgive quickly and move on!

♥ I resolve issues quickly and with a calmness of spirit!

♥ I live a healthy lifestyle!

♥ I learn from every experience!

♥ I eliminate all negativity out of my life!

♥ My thoughts are creative and I am now creating the reality that I desire!

♥ I will take at least 1 action today in the direction of my long term plans!

♥ I am always receiving money making ideas and acting upon them!

♥ I only attract loving people in my world for they are a mirror of what I am!

♥ Today, I choose to find the good in myself and others!

♥ I see past old limitations and envision new opportunities!

♥ I love myself. And I love how I feel when I love myself!

♥ I am an extreme action taker!

♥ I am more enthusiastic today and am improving this trait daily!

♥ I am prosperous and abundant. I gain income from unexpected sources!

♥ Divine love is working through me now!

♥ I add value to other people’s lives!

♥ I let go of any burdens that are not mine to carry!

♥ I give generously and from my heart!

♥ I am decisive and follow through!

♥ I am positive and optimistic!

♥ I commit to being rich in every way!

♥ I now have more money that I need!

♥ I always awaken completely refreshed!

♥ Today, I am energetic and enthusiastic!

♥ I live with purpose and passion!

♥ I have compassion for all living things!

♥ I release judgment and criticism of myself and others!

♥ Every breath I take brings me greater health and vitality!

♥ I love my life!

♥ Money is flowing into my life, quickly and easily!

♥ I am grateful for today and for all of my blessings!

I am spending this weekend literally getting my house in order!

As I look around at the toys strewn near & far; at the pile of clean laundry that needs to be folded (that is so tall my 3 year old son has been pretending that it is a mound of snow); at the weeds inching their way higher & higher through the brick pavers in my courtyard…I start to feel overwhelmed.  Tears are filling my eyes as I am writing this blog post.

First of all, I am not used to my house getting so out of control and am wondering how in the world I let this happen.  Secondly, it is not my style to let people know that things are a mess.  After all, I am the gal who holds it all together…running my businesses; maintaining my friendships; being a full-time, single Mommy; acting as head of the household…and never stops smiling!!

But, today…I am confessing that things are a complete mess!  So, what do I do?

Well, the first thing I’m doing (after this admission) is “blessing my mess”!  That’s right!  I am expressing gratitude that I have a home to clean; that I have a child to scatter toys everywhere; that I have friendships to maintain & businesses to run. 

Then, I am “grabbing the bull by the horns”!  I am ‘cranking up’ my stereo and inviting  Madonna, Abba, Michael Jackson, and Bon Jovi into my messy house…to fill me with energy and make the task enjoyable!  I will take it one room at a time and will not stop until my house is back in order!

Sometimes our lives become a big mess, don’t they?  When that happens…bless your mess, grab the bull by the horns, take it one step at a time, enjoy the journey, and don’t stop until your life is back in order!

And, then…reward yourself!!  Any suggestions on what I should do when my house is back in order?

(picture taken from www.bigfoto.com)

Every once in a while, Opportunity knocks and you know that not only do you need to open the door wide…you need to grab her, give her a welcoming hug, invite her to dinner and use your best china!

I was sitting at my desk a few nights ago and, at the exact moment that I thought to myself,  ”I must get my book written NOW”, I received an email from a friend that invited Authors and Aspiring Authors to take part in “The Next Top Spiritual Author” competition.  Wow…another serendipitous moment that sent chill bumps all over my body!

Ever since I created “Gratitude Boot Camp” last year and started sharing it as a coaching program, I have been led to put it into book form so that millions can benefit from learning how to make gratitude a daily habit.  During the first Gratitude Boot Camp session I watched, in awe, as people’s lives were transformed, personally and professionally.  And, after speaking at a Law of Attraction Meetup, I was approached by a woman who told me that I had given her the strength to continue after losing her son 8 months before.  My story had inspired her to be grateful for the time that she had him and to focus on her current blessings.  That is when I decided to include my personal story, in my book, along with the steps needed to create a life filled with happiness, love, peace, success, and abundance.

The Next Top Author Competition started on March 29th.  It is comprised of four rounds where Authors will pitch their book idea; prepare a book proposal; and submit chapters.  In the final round, the Grand Prize Winner will receive a publishing contract with Hampton Roads Publishing.  I am honored to present my upcoming book, Gratitude Habit, as an entry.  You can read more about Gratitude Habit at http://www.SandySpeaks.com/books and can hear the audio pitch on my Next Top Author profile page.

There are over 2500 Authors competing in Round 1.  Only 250 will advance to Round 2 and 75% of the vote is based on the number of votes that an Author obtains.  Please help me spread the Power of Gratitude to millions by voting for me on my Next Top Author profile page at http://www.sn.im/TopAuthor.  

After you vote, send me an e-mail message at Sandy@GratitudeBootCamp.com and I will send you the article that I wrote entitled “6 Simple Ways to Create The Gratitude Habit”.  Additonally, everyone who votes will be placed in a drawing to receive free tuition to a 12-week Gratitude Boot Camp TeleClass and an autographed copy of Gratitude Habit.

Welcome Home, Opportunity!  I’ve been waiting for you my entire life!!!

When my three year old son, Jake, and I go for a walk or to the grocery store or anywhere for that matter, he acts as if he is running for Mayor.  He greets everyone with a cheerful “Hi” and  if he is not able to find out your name, he will make one up for you (and he always comes up with very interesting monikers for people)!

There was a time whenever my friends were worried that there was something wrong with him because he did not seem to connect.  He did not say the word “Mommy” until much, much later than his playmates.  In fact, he was the last one in our playgroup to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, and talk although he is one of the eldest of the bunch.

I recently took him for his 3 year old check-up although he is 3.5 now.  I know, I know…I’m always late too (hey…wait a minute, maybe he comes by it justly?  And…before you judge my mothering skills, you must know that there were no major shots or anything involved in this doctor visit).  His Pediatrician was amazed at his level of communication (even though she had been somewhat skeptical that there was anything wrong when I showed up at her office in tears, one year earlier).  “Did you put him in therapy?” she asked.  “No” I replied “About a week after my panicked visit, he started talking up a storm, in complete sentences and full of emotion & empathy, and he has not stopped since!”  She and I hugged!

I looked at her, contemplatively, and said, “You know…there is a life lesson here.  We are sometimes so quick to judge and we, so often, live our lives in a state of comparison.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we simply accepted each other, encouraged each other to reach our potential, and did not judge each other’s process of growth, whether we be children or adults?”  She smiled and said “Why yes, it would”.  After she walked out with her stethoscope in hand, I gave my child an extra hug and gave myself a break for the fact that I was at a place that some may view as “being behind”.  And, as I walked out of the doctor’s office, I thought “Watch out world…I might just run for Mayor!”

*I am adding to this post to clarify a couple of things about my child.  He reached all of his major milestones within the “normal” time frames, it was just always at the very end.  He loves to play with other children and connects with people very well.  Like all 3 year olds, he asks millions of questions each day (his favorite is asking what every single sign says as we drive up and down Interstate 4; which we do a lot, so Mommy is learning the art of extreme patience) and we carry on conversations with each other.  He is smart and sweet with a great sense of humor and some of the same “quirks” that I had as a child.  I really believe that, while you should make sure that your child is developing his/her major milestones according to “the charts”, you also have to be careful about comparing him/her to other children.  And, I believe that you need to accept them for who they are and praise & encourage them to excel without placing judgment upon them.*

Today, on my 50th birthday, I would like to share 50 Life Lessons that I have learned.  Some of them are repeats of classics that are too powerful to re-word; some I have learned the hard way; some I am just now starting to implement; and some are humorous and meant to show that you should have fun in life!   Each one carries a valuable message so I hope you will savor them as you read…

My 50 Life Lessons

1.     Be true to yourself and follow your hearts desires.

 2.     Surround yourself with positive, supportive, and uplifting people.

 3.     Take responsibility for your actions and own up to your mistakes. 

 4.     Make decisions wisely and from a place of love and goodness, choosing to do what is in everyone’s best interest.

 5.     It’s okay to eat popcorn for dinner and sushi for breakfast.

 6.     Stand up for yourself and know that sometimes that simply means to move on, once you have done what is right.

 7.     Some people only come into your life for a season, and that’s okay.

 8.     Become an expert about something you’re passionate about.

 9.     Be honest.  Always.

 10.   Resolve issues quickly and with a calmness of spirit.

 11.     Give thanks all day long for all of your blessings, big and small.

 12.    Forgive others and yourself quickly…and move on.

 13.    Get on the floor and play with a child.

 14.    Establish traditions and keep them going.

 15.    Get 8 hours of sleep and drink lots of water.

 16.    Sit down with your parents and/or grandparents and have them share their life story.

 17.    Get married only if you have no doubts.

 18.    True friends are more valuable than gold.  Treasure them.

 19.    Never be judgmental and remember that what people think of you is none of your business.

 20.  There is no such thing as skirts that are too short, earrings that are too big, lipstick that is too bright, or heels that are too high when you’re going out!

 21.    Remove all negative influences from your life, including people who are toxic.

 22.   Be yourself, but be your best self.

 23.   Laugh.  A lot.

 24.  Travel to at least one foreign country.

 25.  Have a place for everything and everything in its place.

 26.  Always be the bigger person.

 27.  Reach out to help those less fortunate.

 28.  If you can’t say something nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all.

 29.  You are who you hang around.

 30.  Pursue your passions.

 31.   Keep a journal, especially a gratitude journal.

 32.  Write down your goals and take at least one action step toward them each day.

 33.  Be comfortable spending time with yourself.

 34.  Sing and Dance.  A lot.

 35.  Life is too short and too precious to hold grudges or to be jealous or envious.

 36.  Say “I love you”.  Often.

 37.  The minute you start to feel overwhelmed or stressed, take some deep breathes and count your blessings.

 38.   Eat Healthy.  Most of the time.

 39.   Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

 40.   Get massages.  A lot.

 41.    Regret is a wasted emotion.  Learn your lessons and move on.

 42.   Marry or date someone who loves to kiss.  A lot.

 43.   Be in the present moment.  You will never have that time again. 

 44.   Go to major events like someone’s wedding, graduation, funeral, or birthday party.  Once it is over, it’s over and you’ll never have a 2^ndchance to attend.

 45.   Read.  A lot.

 46.   Take lots of pictures and arrange or organize them as soon as possible.

47.  Go ahead and ask for what you want.  If the answer is no, you have not lost anything.

 48.   If someone writes you a love letter, keep it forever.

 49.   It is easier to keep up than to catch up.

50.  You can’t change anyone.  Think of how hard it is to change yourself.

 And…One to grow on:  Always Be on Time!