Sandy Speaks…

Lately, I have really been working on my own personal self-development.  I have been blessed with the responsibility of raising a child and I am on a new journey of coaching others, so I have to hold myself to a higher standard.

One very important attribute that I’ve been concentrating on is the act of forgiveness.  One of the hardest things to do is to forgive someone who has caused you pain.  However, as I’ve recently discovered, it is extremely liberating to “get over it”.  When you do, the hurt no longer dominates your mind.  When someone hurts me, I generally become consumed with thinking about the incident or action over and over and over.  Or, I decide to retreat completely from the situation where the hurt took place.  It’s exhausting!

Recently, I was feeling very hurt by someone who I am close to in my life.  As the incident started playing over and over again in my head, I realized that I had to stop and forgive…truly forgive.  Which made me stop and look at things from their perspective.  It was amazing how I could physically feel the hurt going out of me and how I was crystal clear on the fact that I did not want to lose or mess up this valuable friendship.  I shudder to think of what might have happened if I were not in this period of working on myself!  Things are back to normal and when we discussed the topic again, it was in a really casual & relaxing way.  This forgiveness stuff really works!!

Of course, there are instances where someone hurts you to the point that you know that the relationship must end.  But, you still must practice forgiveness of that person…otherwise the incident/action continues to cause you pain and discomfort…even after the person is gone.  Even if you do not contact that person because you do not want to invite them back into your life, it is still very important to forgive them so you can move on from the negative thoughts.  And, it actually makes you feel at peace whenever you ask God to bless the person who was hurtful.  It helps to realize that some people are put into your life for a reason but were not meant to stay in it forever.  As you reflect back on your relationship with that person, in a relaxed state, you will find that there were lessons to be learned and you can be Grateful to that person for giving you those lessons.

It is also important to forgive yourself.  That is something that has been a bit of a struggle for me lately.  My whole life I have lived with the motto that “regret is a wasted emotion”.  But, this year, I have been kicking myself for some of the mistakes that I have made.  I finally have realized that the time & energy that I am spending on beating myself up could be spent on taking positive steps toward a bright, new future. 

So…if something hurtful happens now, I start working on the forgiveness aspect of it pretty quickly after it happens.  That way, I can move on toward my bright future.  And…I stop to count my blessings…that always helps me to truly forgive so I can finally forget!